DEL STONE JR.: Maybe I’ll do more exercises – tomorrow – News – Northwest Florida Daily News

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Recently I bought a copy of “Forever Young,” a book that claims you can defeat the ravages of time through exercise and diet, thereby condemning yourself to an extended life of misery and suffering.

Kill me now.

Diets are fine so long as they include a great deal of carbs, fat and salt. They become problematic once you eat healthy food and five minutes later you’re asking yourself if the neighbor’s parrot would taste better fried or sautéed.

I once exercised religiously, but that was before six decades of gravity convinced me that seat dance and promising to mow the yard tomorrow are effective types of burning calories.

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